10 ways to Come out the Closet!
by vanila-chan
Summary: Ichigo's closet presents you  10 ways to come out the closet! Ch 3:Ichigo wondered how the shinigami could fit into his closet for their yaoi meetings, stepping into the closet,shoving his sweaty shirts and used underwear aside, he found...
1. Rukia the Yaoi fangirl

**Ichigo:** I, Bleach and all the other charas are owned by Tite Kubo-sensei!

**Rukia:** And now we we show you ten different ways to come out of the closet

**Ichigo:** wahh... i'm being owned...

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**Rukia the Closet fangirl**

"Rukia."

...

No response.

"Rukia!"

...

...

Still no response.

"Rukiaaa!"

Annoyed that Rukia didn't reply him, Ichigo slammed open the closet to find that Rukia wasn't in there. "I wonder where she went so early in the morning." He pondered out loud to the empty room. Then something shiny caught his eye, he looked to see a black metallic box, on the box was a warning. _'Do not touch or be scarred for life'_ was engraved onto it, decorated with Rukia's usual bunny doodles. Should he heed the warning?_ Nahh! _Curiosity got the better of him and he opened the box.

A high-pitched girly scream woke the whole of Karakura Town. Isshin Kurosaki woke up panicking, what bastard did indecent things to his dear Yuzu-chan?

* * *

Meanwhile up in the sky above Kurakura Town, on a pretty lil' cloud, Rukia was sitting/floating with all her other shinigami-girl-buddies.

"Ohh yeah…"

"What's wrong?" Nemu asked.

"I left my yaoi-stash back home."

"Isn't your 'home' right now, Ichigo's closet?" Masumoto piped up.

"…"

And the extremely important, life-threatening meeting *cough* _YAOI_*cough* was cut short.

* * *

When Rukia and all the other shinigami-girls reached Ichigo's window, they saw a twitching orange head man on the floor. And next to him was Rukia's black metallic box of Yaoi pictures.

_Whoooooppss…_

_

* * *

_Bahahahah~ hope you liked it lahh!_  
_


	2. Rukia the Yaoi fangirl Take 2

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach.

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**Rukia the Closet Fangirl Take Two!**

It was an extremely hot day, rather unusual since it's still winter in Japan, but the weather went up to 40 degrees, and whatever snow there was, was long gone. Ichigo and Renji were currently sitting on Ichigo's room floor with their shirts off and were having a _strictly_ business chat. Renji stood up to take his leave, but sitting for so long had made his leg went numb causing him to fall ontop of Ichigo into a rather suggestive position.

And out from Ichigo's awesome closet, Rukia burst forth!

"Aha! I knew you two were gay!"

"N-no! You're misunderstanding!" Ichigo said panickedly as he shoved Renji-who was too shocked to do anything- off him.

"Noooo! Stay there!" Rukia squealed as she pushed Renji back onto Ichigo and whipped out her camera.

"What's going on there?" something from the closet asked. Then suddenly a bunch of shinigami-girls came out from thee closet!

"W-why are you all in my closet? How the hell did you all fit in there in the first place?"

They all ignored Ichigo's demand but started squealing and taking pictures as well. Renji finally snapped out of his shock and hurriedly scrambled off the carrot-top boy. But the Strawberry Man was squished beyond recovery.

Poke.

"OWW! What the hell Rukia?" and strawberry man was as good as new~

"I have a confession to make." Rukia said solemnly, all the shinigami girls in the background with the same serious face.

"I am a Yaoi fangirl."

Silence.

"WHAT?"

"We're all yaoi fangirls." All the shinigami girls chanted, eyeing the two half naked guys hungrily.

The two males backed away uneasily, feeling a little creeped out by their gazes.

"And one of our favourite pairings are Ichigo x Renji."

An innocent passerby was walking past the Kurosaki household when he saw the shadows looming over him, looking up in shock, he instantly regretted his foolish decision. The passerby was now kissing the concrete pavement as two fiery headed boys ran him over like a bus from hell, they were too hurried to give an apology lest help the poor man up, and dashed on, disappearing into the squinting horizon in seconds.

Karin and Yuzu ran into their brother's room wondering what the commotion was about.

"What happened in here?"

"You missed all the action." Rukia pouted as she look mournfully out the wide opened window as did all the other shinigami girls in the room, "Not that it's for your innocent virgin eyes to see."

Karin and Yuzu gave them bewildered looks, wondering what in the world she could be talking about. And where was Ichi-nii anyway?

"Well let's resume out meeting." Soifon said in a business-like way. As they all retreated into Ichigo's closet once more, Rukia said, "Byakuya nii-san is minee! No one fantasize about him with another man!"

Karin and Yuzu's mouths dropped, as their innocent ears first heard of yaoi. "Ehhh! That's not fair! Byakuya's soo hot! He's one of the semes though!"

"Shut it. I will not allow you to defile my nii-san with your pervy thoughts!" And their arguments went on as the closet door slammed.

Karin and Yuzu stayed glued to the floor with gaping mouths as they wondered how a group of 10 full grown women could fit into their brother's tiny closet.

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lol so hoped you liked it! and dont worry, the next one's not gonna be about rukia again. and sorry if u don't like the ichigo/renji pair, i'm a dgm yaoi fan who just took interest in ichigo's closetXD gahh... i ate some ancient ICHIGO(strawberry) ice cream and i'm starting to feel weird... so enjoy your day and eat some happyful ichigo ice cream if its hot wherever you are- like it is where i am today, cos strawberries and ice cream are awesome- just make sure they're still in good condition=)


	3. Wonderland!

Discalimer: I do not own bleach=O

**Wonderland?

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**

Ichigo was always very curious to know how all the shinigami girls fitted into his closet for their weekly yaoi meetings, he was always tempted to go into his closet to see, but never did ever since he discovered the yaoi pictures. He shivered remembering that uneventful incident, it was horrible. But he never learned his lesson, his curiosity got better of him once again and he stepped into his closet.

Shoving his sweaty shirts and used underwear aside, he found something unexpected. _Wonderland? What the hell…._ He was now walking barefooted in snow, his jeans were getting damp and he was shivering in his thin jacket. He decided that heading back to his room would be a good idea, and if he ever returned to this weird place…wearing lots of clothes would be a good idea… But Ichigo had learned that he was a very unlucky person awhile ago, all traces of his closet had disappeared, and he was left staring dumbfounded at where it used to be. _Ohhh crap…_

He kept staring at the same spot for another five minutes before the cold was starting to freeze him, then he decided his best option would be to find somewhere warm. Half an hour later still wandering in the snow, Ichigo was sure his feet had gotten frostbite and was going to fall off, he saw a hazy light in a distance, numbly crossing his fingers, he hoped he had finally found a cottage.

But Ichigo was never a lucky guy, instead of a cozy cottage, he found himself glaring at an innocent lamppost in the middle of the endless white snow. All of a sudden the snow around him fell more rapidly, hitting his face harder; it was as if he wasn't suffering enough from wandering in a snowy forest with cold winds blowing ice in his face. Ichigo cursed himself for his stupidity of not learning that curiosity was a very dangerous thing.

Suddenly out of the Forest of white came a man, Ichigo was saved! As the man came closer, he saw that the man had four legs supporting a horse body, he remembered reading a book to a little Yuzu about some mythical creatures called centaurs. Ichigo would have probably freaked out looking at the creature heading towards him, but since he had been able to see ghosts, became a shinigami, found out his closet wasn't as innocent as it seemed, seen yaoi pictures and was about to die from frostbite, he found that he just couldn't quite freak out.

"What are you doing here, human?" The centaur asked him coldly.

"Trying to get back into my closet." Ichigo mumbled weakly as he stared at the creature in front of him.

"You're gonna freeze out here." The centaur said stating the obvious as Ichigo sent him a weak glare that said, "Duh."

Ichigo's eyes widened in shock as he found himself sitting on the centaur like one would sit on a horse. But feeling too frozen to express his shock, he just let the centaur take him to wherever, hopefully someplace warm.

A nice sleep in a warm haystack in a large but warm stable later, Ichigo woke up to find hot chocolate shoved into his face, "Thanks." He smiled, as he looked up to greet the centaur, he almost dropped the cup in shock. Now that he wasn't about to freeze to death in the foggy snow, he had a better look at the centaur's face.

"Byakuya?"

The centaur gave him a strange look. His long black hair that reached his waist swayed to the left as he tilted his sharp angular face slightly. "The name's Tumnus. Now that you're all better I would like you to leave as soon as possible." His ever-cold black eyes narrowed.

"B-but I'm gonna freeze out there!" he spluttered as he pointed to a small window that showed the unforgiving raging snow storm.

The centaur raised a brow, "No you're not." He said,

"Ye-" Ichigo stopped mid sentence as his mouth dropped into a wide "O", the previous dark gloomy skies where the ice fell out of, now became a clear blue with fluffy little clouds framing it as the sound of birds reached his ears.

"Anyway, I don't like you, so get the hell out as soon as possible." The Byakuya-look-alike (other than his horse parts) deadpanned as he got up and left.

When he had finally stopped gaping at the empty stables, Ichigo quickly chugged down his hot chocolate and ran outside. There were flowers of the rainbow sprouting out of the whole place, it seemed that the stables was in a field of flowers that was surrounded by a mysterious coniferous forest. He admired the pretty place for a few seconds before deciding that he should find a way to get back to his closet, having no idea where to go, he followed a red path that led to the woods pointed at by a curious looking sign.

The sign had led him to a curiously mysterious garden where music flowed out of it. Opening the front gates, he walked into a paradise of blue roses, in the centre of all the blue roses was a matching mop of blue hair. The owner of this hair was lying on the ground singing in an enchanting melody as a contrasting blood-red rose grew out of his stomach.

As he stepped closer to the man he gasped softly in surprise. With a blue diamond etched to his place in place of where his hollow-bone mask should have been, was Grimmjow.

The man paused in his song and looked at him with an eerie smile, "Hello, I'm Alice, would you like to have some tea?"

Ichigo had a bad feeling in his stomach, following his instincts, he ran faster than he had when he discovered yaoi out of the creepy garden of blue roses and creepy songs. He ran so fast that he could barely see where he was going, and he ran Smack BAM! into something hard.

Standing proudly in front of him, with delicate carvings of pictures on oak wood, was a closet.

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La~~ hope you like it! and if you can guess the references to other stuff in this story that i obviously do not own, you get a cookie!

Please review, cos ill be happy and cos ill give you another cookieXD


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